For younger students, it is easier and more effective to encourage oral rather than written feedback. Two stars and a wish Students identify two positive aspects of the work of a peer and then express a wish about what the peer might do next time in order to improve another aspect of the work. I wish that you will tell us more about Billy.
Sample of Writing Feedback The sample writing feedback here is an abbreviated version of a manuscript evaluation, which normally provides 6 to 10 pages of feedback. General Comments for Your Story I imagine that you poured your soul into the writing of this piece, and the authenticity shows.
You provide a gratifying social context that illustrates both the sad reality of young people forced by events to live in an environment of fear, and also the disquieting vulnerability of expatriate life in another country during a time of political unrest.
Your writing is accomplished and I found your story both moving and fascinating. The protagonist, possibly still somewhat roughly drawn at this point, manages nevertheless to create a strong impression.
At no point did I find him unbelievable, and I found myself rooting for him whenever he encountered any opposition. You handled the dialogue well, and you used speaker attributions sparingly and with skill, while also managing to write natural-sounding dialogue. You demonstrate Character A's strength well through both actions and dialogue.
The story could, however, be enhanced through deeper characterization, and by creating more tension throughout the story.
As the narrative is not plot oriented and has no strong story question, increased tension in the writing will pull readers forward all the way through to the end. Organization The writing loosely follows a conventional short story structure, but the focus is on character more than on plot.
The result is what editors call a "quiet" story, which really means that there is not a lot of plot activity, though the hockey game provides some potential. This quietness is unlikely to cause literary editors a problem, as long as you have very compelling characters, which you do.
However, you could do more with these characters, and you could also strengthen the story by introducing more conflict and tension. The hockey game strikes me as a missed opportunity because you could crank up the tension in the game, and do slightly more with the dodgy win that A orchestrates when he gets the goalie disqualified.
The trouble at the end will have more of an impact if you make more of that action.
Don't overdo it, but readers need to experience A's elation with the win to feel the corresponding disappointment when B doesn't acknowledge him after the game. I also wonder if you might introduce B and his motivation earlier in the story.
Characterization You've done a fine job with characterization, but you could improve the story further by doing more. A and C stand out as memorable characters, but too much about them is told, rather than shown.
If the reader experiences more of the sensory details as the characters experience them, the characters will become even more compelling. B, however, gets a bit lost in the story.
Part of the problem with B is that readers don't know at first who he is. Is he the chemistry professor? For a long time I wondered if he was the thirdrate player mentioned only once who now owns a store. Much later in the story, I learned that man is the unnamed coach.For example, here is an example of a vague feedback vs.
a specific feedback (real examples): Vague: “Hey Celes, I’d love it if you can write some articles on communication.”. A range of resources including information about online peer review tools such as PRAZE; examples review and feedback forms, and student questionnaires; as well .
In my last blog, I shared a modeling activity that writing teachers can do to help students analyze each other’s writing and make more out of peer review activities.
Today, I would like to describe a modeling activity that uses ineffective comments—ineffective feedback—as a pedagogical tool to teach students how to provide effective comments on their peers’ drafts.
how to give feedback on a peer’s paper Posted on July 18, by pat thomson It is very good practice for doctoral and early career researchers to get feedback from peers about their writing.
In addition, I also model the activity for the student by giving examples of what I expect to see in regards to feedback. Left to their own devices, I’m not confident the students would fully understand and get everything out of these peer reviews.
Here are some examples of positive feedback examples and some that are not so positive that you might want to steer clear of. The Purpose of Feedback The purpose of feedback is to reinforce positive behaviors that contribute to performance or that eliminate .